Its also odd that an Item Merchant wouldnt create some kind of token or give you a choice of effects, but the flavor is the least of this cards worries
It feels like an inevitability once this hits the board
The contrast between the two surfaces is what makes the rarity treatment visually distinctive in person versus standard SIRs that use foil edge-to-edge
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Its just a lot of stuff on a very big body, and we have a feeling a lot of people will be losing to this card